Thursday, November 20, 2008

Snippets of fiction

Emily Care Boss, over on knife fight*, is hosting/organizing a series of writing exercises, about one a week or so. This week's was called "chastity", and we were restricted to write a short (200-250 word) piece of descriptive prose without adverbs, adjectives, with no dialogue. Wow, hard. I'm not sure I succeeded (I can spot some adjectives, and I may have gone overboard on the prepositions), but here is the resulting snippet of fiction from me. Let me know what you think.

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He stared out the window, and knew it would be soon. The sun sank behind the buildings, and the street grew dim. The smoke from her cigarette irritated his eyes, so he glared until she stubbed it out and walked away. Nothing was said; it didn’t have to be. But that was her way ever since they killed her man.

The street was empty now, even the horses had been brought in. They’d been left before, but that stopped after… He shook his head. No good thinking like that.

Cleaning the barrel, he checked the sky and sighed. No moon tonight, and the gas was gone. Last night they rolled barrels into the street, filled them with trash and gasoline, and it helped. Things would be harder tonight; you can’t shoot what you can’t see.

Noise from below told him that the others were back. He hoped they’d brought everything. Last week Jory forgot gauze, and it could have cost lives. They got lucky, but still. He sighed again. No sense getting mad at Jory – he was in the graveyard now. She came back, set down her load and snapped a cigarette from the pack living in her rolled up sleeve. Glancing at him, she swore, and put it back.

People settled at windows and behind sandbags. Hammering came from downstairs as they barricaded the door. Tension filled the air, and he wondered if he’d see the sunrise.
He eased his gun between the boards of the window and waited. They came.

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James


*It's a closed-member forum, so you probably won't be able to see what I'm talking about. It's just a signpost.
 

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posted by James at 2:05 PM

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